those are the three last one´s i post for the day

God and the angel Gabriel were at the water cooler one day. After chit-chatting about spreadsheets, schedules and last night's episode of ER, God said: 'I just created a 24-hour period of alternating light and darkness.' Gabriel replied, 'Wow - what are you going to do now?' God retorted, 'I think I'll call it a day.'

[URL="http://www.explosm.net/comics/1558/"]
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Cyanide & Happiness @ [URL="http://www.explosm.net/"]Explosm.net

Artie.. gets tired of working so
hard and not getting anywhere..

and seeing all these guys in the
Mafia in their fine three piece
suits and fancy cars... decides
that he has to join the Mafia.

He goes up to one of the guys
and says..

" I want to join the Mafia".

The guy answers..

"You ever kill any one for money?"

Artie answers..

"No".

The guy says..

"Well.. you either got to be born
into the mafia.. or you gotta kill
somebody for money".

So Artie says..

"How much will you pay me?"

The guy says..

"I'm not gonna pay you".

Artie says..

"C'mon..just pay me a dollar
so I can get in."

The guy says..

"Okay.. I'll tell you what.. You
kill somebody..tell me about it..
and if I see it in the morning
paper.. I'll pay you a dollar".

Artie says.

"Oh thank you.. thank you!"
and heads off on his mission.

He goes to Ralphs Supermarket..
sees an old lady pushing a cart..
and decides that she's lived a
full life.. goes up to her..grabs
her round the neck and chokes
her to death.

The bag boy sees him..and chases
after him.
Artie realizes that he can't out run
the bag boy.. turns around.. grabs
the bag boy by the neck and chokes
him to death.

In the morning paper the headlines
read..

"ARTIE CHOKES TWO FOR A
DOLLAR AT RALPHS!".

lol now i get it XD