| | THE UNOFFICIAL "OFFICIAL" PUBLIC JOKE SECTION |  |
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skinman {kan}
Badass KAN
 Number of posts: 2902
Age: 64
City/Country: over here
: Clan Member
Fav MP game: left 4 dead.
left4dead2.
TeamSpeak: yes.
Registration date: 2008-05-04
|  Subject: Re: THE UNOFFICIAL "OFFICIAL" PUBLIC JOKE SECTION Mon 05 Dec 2011, 10:07 pm | |
| The Cow.. the Ant.. and the Old Fart .A Cow.. an Ant and an old Fart are debating on who is the
greatest of the three of them.
The Cow said... "I give 20 pints of milk every day and that's
why I am the greatest!".
The Ant said... "I work day and night... summer and winter...
I can carry 52 times my own weight and that's why I am the
greatest!".Why are you scrolling down?..... It's your turn to say something.  |
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Rumble {KAN}
Badass KAN
Number of posts: 2561
Age: 52
City/Country: Virginia, USA
: Moderator
: Forum Admin
Fav MP game: COD BO, L4D2
Fav MP map: No preference
TeamSpeak: Yes !
Registration date: 2007-10-05
| | Subject: Re: THE UNOFFICIAL "OFFICIAL" PUBLIC JOKE SECTION Mon 05 Dec 2011, 11:50 pm | |
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skinman {kan}
Badass KAN
Number of posts: 2902
Age: 64
City/Country: over here
: Clan Member
Fav MP game: left 4 dead.
left4dead2.
TeamSpeak: yes.
Registration date: 2008-05-04
| | Subject: Re: THE UNOFFICIAL "OFFICIAL" PUBLIC JOKE SECTION Thu 08 Dec 2011, 2:03 am | |
| My other half asked me what I was doing on the
computer.
I told her I was looking for cheap flights.
"I love you!"... she said... and then she got all
excited.
That night we had the most amazing lovemaking
session.
Which is odd because shes never shown any interest
in darts before?.  |
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skinman {kan}
Badass KAN
Number of posts: 2902
Age: 64
City/Country: over here
: Clan Member
Fav MP game: left 4 dead.
left4dead2.
TeamSpeak: yes.
Registration date: 2008-05-04
| | Subject: Re: THE UNOFFICIAL "OFFICIAL" PUBLIC JOKE SECTION Mon 27 Feb 2012, 3:56 pm | |
| ...................A Fistfull of Dollars.
Two cowboys...Slim and Duke...were having a beer in a
saloon when a guy walked in with an Indian's head under
his arm.
the guy handed the head to the bartender who in return
gave him a fistful of dollars.
"I hate Indians!"...explained the bartender.
They burned my barn to the ground and killed my wife
and five kids.
Anybody who brings me the head of an Indian...I'll give
them a thousand dollars".
Slim and Duke knocked back their drinks and went off
to hunt Indians.
Soon they found one and Slim hurled a rock...hitting the
Indian on the head and sending him tumbling from his
horse...then rolling eighty feet down a ravine.
The two cowboys raced down the ravine in hot pursuit
and Slim pulled out his knife ready to claim his trophy.
But just as he was about to slice off the Indian's head..
Duke said..."Slim...take a look at this".
"Not now"...said Slim..."I'm busy".
"I really think you should have a look"....persisted Duke.
"Can't you see I'm busy"...snapped Slim..."I've got a
thousand dollars in my hand here".
Duke said..."Please... Slim...take a look".
Slim new Duke would keep on at him ...so he did as his
friend asked and looked up to the top of the ravine.
Standing there were five thousand Indians.
"JESUS!"...said Slim...
"We're gonna be millionairs!". |
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skinman {kan}
Badass KAN
Number of posts: 2902
Age: 64
City/Country: over here
: Clan Member
Fav MP game: left 4 dead.
left4dead2.
TeamSpeak: yes.
Registration date: 2008-05-04
| | Subject: Re: THE UNOFFICIAL "OFFICIAL" PUBLIC JOKE SECTION Thu 08 Mar 2012, 1:44 pm | |
| It was the England versus Wales rugby International at Twickenham.
As the crowds made their way down the Street towards the stadium...
A Rottweiler... suddenly lunged towards an eight year old English lass
with its jaws wide open ready to attack.
The crowd nearby... gasped in horror but... quick as a flash... a man in
a red top jumped out of the crowd... grabbed the dog by the throat and
strangled the life out of it.
As the dead dog lay there... and the crowd cheered in admiration....
a local journalist from the tabloid who had witnessed the heroic
deed... went up to the man and said... 'That was brilliant.
I can see the headlines now ....
"Welsh Rugby Fan Saves Young Girl From Certain Death!".
The man replied... "No you've got it wrong..... I'm not here for the rugby!".
"Don't worry"....said the journalist.... 'I can see the headline now ....
"Welshman Saves Girl From Jaws Of Rottweiler".
The man replied... 'No you're wrong again..... I'm not Welsh....
I'm from Glasgow ".
The next mornings newspaper headlines read....
"Scottish B@stard Strangled Family Pet". |
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my little friend
Badass KAN
Number of posts: 1242
Age: 49
City/Country: london uk
: <span style="color: rgb(2, 186, 0); font-weight: bold;">Clan Member</span><br>
Fav MP game: doom3/cod4
Fav MP map: face to face/broadcast
Fav SP game: birdwatching
Xfire: never
TeamSpeak: now and again..and only when i'm sober...not making that mistake again!
Registration date: 2008-08-10
| | Subject: Re: THE UNOFFICIAL "OFFICIAL" PUBLIC JOKE SECTION Thu 08 Mar 2012, 5:34 pm | |
|  did you have to remind me of the rugby  |
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skinman {kan}
Badass KAN
Number of posts: 2902
Age: 64
City/Country: over here
: Clan Member
Fav MP game: left 4 dead.
left4dead2.
TeamSpeak: yes.
Registration date: 2008-05-04
| | Subject: Re: THE UNOFFICIAL "OFFICIAL" PUBLIC JOKE SECTION Tue 13 Mar 2012, 8:12 pm | |
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A man met a beautiful blonde Scottish girl and decided he just had to marry her right away.
She said.... "But we don't know anything about one another other".
"That's all right"...he replied.... "We'll learn about each other as we go along".
So.... they were married.... and off they went on honeymoon to a very nice resort.
A week later... As they were lying by the pool.....
He got up off of his towel....climbed up to the 10 metre board and did a two and a
half tuck... followed by three rotations in the pike position...... at which point he
straightened out then cut through the water like a knife.
After a few more demonstrations.... he came back and lay down on his towel.
She said.... "That was incredible!"
"I used to be an Olympic diving champion"...he replied.
"You see....I told you we'd learn more about each other as we went along".
She then got up... jumped into the pool and started swimming lengths.
After seventy five lengths she climbed back out of the pool...lay down on her
towel...she was hardly out of breath.
"That was incredible!"..... he said...."Were you an Olympic endurance swimmer?".
"No"....she said....
"I was a prostitute in Glasgow...but I worked both sides of the Clyde". |
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skinman {kan}
Badass KAN
Number of posts: 2902
Age: 64
City/Country: over here
: Clan Member
Fav MP game: left 4 dead.
left4dead2.
TeamSpeak: yes.
Registration date: 2008-05-04
| | Subject: Re: THE UNOFFICIAL "OFFICIAL" PUBLIC JOKE SECTION Wed 28 Mar 2012, 10:20 am | |
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Bone marrow.
A bloke is waiting for a bone marrow transplant and hears
there is a donor in Argentina.
The operation goes ahead and is a complete success.
later the guy decides to write to the donor to thank him.
He starts the letter with................
Dear Diego marrow donor. |
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Lady of Winter {KAN}
Queen of the P90 - shooter of the AK47. Claymore expert
 Number of posts: 1554
Age: 44
City/Country: Earth (is not a country itīs a planet)
: Pretty in Pink
: Handy with a Whip
: Frau Boss
Fav MP game: Naked Volleyball and Twister.
Fav MP map: BOG!!!
I miss BOG!!
Fav SP game: LOL
Xfire: ladyofwinter
TeamSpeak: 1st Lady {KAN}
Registration date: 2008-03-15
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skinman {kan}
Badass KAN
Number of posts: 2902
Age: 64
City/Country: over here
: Clan Member
Fav MP game: left 4 dead.
left4dead2.
TeamSpeak: yes.
Registration date: 2008-05-04
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Lady of Winter {KAN}
Queen of the P90 - shooter of the AK47. Claymore expert
Number of posts: 1554
Age: 44
City/Country: Earth (is not a country itīs a planet)
: Pretty in Pink
: Handy with a Whip
: Frau Boss
Fav MP game: Naked Volleyball and Twister.
Fav MP map: BOG!!!
I miss BOG!!
Fav SP game: LOL
Xfire: ladyofwinter
TeamSpeak: 1st Lady {KAN}
Registration date: 2008-03-15
| | Subject: Re: THE UNOFFICIAL "OFFICIAL" PUBLIC JOKE SECTION Wed 28 Mar 2012, 8:31 pm | |
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my little friend
Badass KAN
Number of posts: 1242
Age: 49
City/Country: london uk
: <span style="color: rgb(2, 186, 0); font-weight: bold;">Clan Member</span><br>
Fav MP game: doom3/cod4
Fav MP map: face to face/broadcast
Fav SP game: birdwatching
Xfire: never
TeamSpeak: now and again..and only when i'm sober...not making that mistake again!
Registration date: 2008-08-10
| | Subject: Re: THE UNOFFICIAL "OFFICIAL" PUBLIC JOKE SECTION Wed 28 Mar 2012, 10:17 pm | |
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skinman {kan}
Badass KAN
Number of posts: 2902
Age: 64
City/Country: over here
: Clan Member
Fav MP game: left 4 dead.
left4dead2.
TeamSpeak: yes.
Registration date: 2008-05-04
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skinman {kan}
Badass KAN
Number of posts: 2902
Age: 64
City/Country: over here
: Clan Member
Fav MP game: left 4 dead.
left4dead2.
TeamSpeak: yes.
Registration date: 2008-05-04
| | Subject: Re: THE UNOFFICIAL "OFFICIAL" PUBLIC JOKE SECTION Fri 06 Apr 2012, 1:34 pm | |
| The young man moved into a new apartment of his own and went out
to put his name on the door.
While there.. an attractive young lady came out of the apartment next
to his... wearing a robe.
The boy smiled at the young woman and she started a conversation
with him.
As they talked... her robe slipped open... and it was obvious that she
had nothing else on.
The young man broke into a sweat... trying to maintain eye contact.
After a few minutes... she placed her hand on his arm and said...
"Let's go in to my apartment... I hear someone coming".
He followed her into her apartment... she closed the door and
leaned against it... allowing her robe to fall off completely.
Now undressed... she purred at him...
"What would you say was my best feature?"
Flustered and embarrassed... he finally squeaked...
"It's got to be your ears".
Astounded... and a little hurt she asked... "My ears?..Look at
these breasts... they are full and 100% natural.
I work out every day and my butt is firm and solid.
Look at my skin ... no blemishes anywhere. How can you think
that the best part of my body is my ears?".
Clearing his throat.... he stammered....
"Outside... when you said you heard someone coming....
that was me!". |
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Lady of Winter {KAN}
Queen of the P90 - shooter of the AK47. Claymore expert
Number of posts: 1554
Age: 44
City/Country: Earth (is not a country itīs a planet)
: Pretty in Pink
: Handy with a Whip
: Frau Boss
Fav MP game: Naked Volleyball and Twister.
Fav MP map: BOG!!!
I miss BOG!!
Fav SP game: LOL
Xfire: ladyofwinter
TeamSpeak: 1st Lady {KAN}
Registration date: 2008-03-15
| | Subject: Re: THE UNOFFICIAL "OFFICIAL" PUBLIC JOKE SECTION Fri 06 Apr 2012, 5:36 pm | |
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| | THE UNOFFICIAL "OFFICIAL" PUBLIC JOKE SECTION | |
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