Three men went into
a strip club...
and this stripper came over
to them and started to shake
her ass.

The first bloke goes..

''Watch this''..

so he licks a £10 note and
sticks it on her ass.

The second bloke goes..

''Oh yeah?.. Watch this''...

so he takes a £20 note and
licks it and sticks it on her ass.

The third guy goes...

"That's nothing!..

He takes out his credit card..

slides it between the cheeks
of her ass...
and takes the money".

Detroit woman's underwire bra deflects bullet


DETROIT – The metal underwire in a Detroit woman's bra was credited with deflecting a bullet fired at her during a break-in at a neighbor's home. Detroit police Officer Leon Rahmaan said the 57-year-old woman apparently looked out her window Tuesday when one of three men fired the shot.

He said the slug smashed through her window pane before hitting the bra's underwire. It did not penetrate her skin.

Police said she may have gone to the window after a burglar alarm at the house next door sounded. Her neighbor was not at home at the time.

The suspects drove away after the shooting.

Did you know....
The Irish attempt at
scaling Mount Everest
was a valiant effort...

but it failed...

They ran out of
scaffolding.

........
An Englishman..

a Frenchman and an
Irishman were in a pub
talking about their children.

"My son was born on
St George's Day"...

remarked the Englishman...

"So we obviously decided
to call him George".

"That's a real coincidence"...

observed the Frenchman...

"My daughter was born on
Valentine's Day...

so we decided to call her
Valentine".

"That's really incredible"...

drawled the Irishman...

"Exactly the same thing
happened with my son
Pancake".
.........

A Swiss man...

on holiday in Dublin...

needed directions.

He was standing outside
Davy Byrne's pub when
he saw two youths walking
by so he stops them and
asks..."Entschuldigung...
koennen Sie Deutsch
sprechen?".

The two lads look at each
other blankly and stare
back at him.

"Excusez-moi...

parlez vous Français ?"...

he tries.

The two continue to stare.

"Parlare Italiano?"...

Still absolutely no response
from the two lads.

"Hablan ustedes Espanol?"...

The Dublin lads remain
totally silent.

The Swiss guy walks off
extremely disappointed and
downhearted that he had not
been understood.

One of the boys turns to the
second and says...

"Y'know...

maybe we should learn a
foreign language".

"Why?...

says the youth...

"That guy knew four
languages.....

and it didn't do him
any good!".

"A lady picked up several items
at a discount store.

When she finally got up to the
checkout...
she learned that one of her
items had no price tag.

Imagine her embarrassment
when the checker got on
the intercom and boomed
out for the entire store to
hear...

"PRICE CHECK ON LANE
THIRTEEN.. TAMPAX..
SUPER SIZE".

That was bad enough...

but somebody at the rear of the
store apparently misunderstood
the word...

"Tampax"for "THUMBTACKS".

In a businesslike tone...

a voice boomed back over
the intercom...

"DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU
PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB
OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN
WITH A HAMMER?".

Rotten office fridge cleanup sends 7 to hospital


SAN JOSE, Calif. – An office worker cleaning a fridge full of rotten food created a smell so noxious that it sent seven co-workers to the hospital and made many others ill. Firefighters had to evacuate the AT&T building in downtown San Jose on Tuesday, after the flagrant fumes prompted someone to call 911. A hazmat team was called in.

What they found was an unplugged refrigerator that had been crammed with moldy food.

Authorities said an enterprising office worker had decided to clean it out, placing the food in a conference room while using two cleaning chemicals to scrub down the mess. The mixture of old lunches and disinfectant caused 28 people to need treatment for vomiting and nausea.

Authorities said the worker who cleaned the fridge didn't need treatment — she can't smell because of allergies.

LoW

Would you believe it?...

A Sudanese man has been
forced to take a goat as
his "wife"....
after he was caught having
sex with the animal.



A Japanese train company
that had been losing money
has found a novel way to
increase business...
a pet cat called Tama.

All the 9-year-old female
cat does is sit by the entrance
of Kishi Station in western
Japan.. wearing a black uniform
cap and posing for photos for
the tourists....
who are now flocking to
the station in droves from
across the nation.

A Russian woman was frozen
to a railway track after she
slipped and fell in temperatures
of minus 30 Celsius and grabbed
the metal track with her bare
hands.


A mugger in America was
arrested after ignoring
rule number one of mugging...

after robbing your victim...

don't stop to lick their toes
before making a quick getaway.

The principal of a Utah middle school
has been asked to apologize for forcing
a kilt-wearing Scottish-American student
to change his clothes.

Weber School District spokesman Nate Taggart
says Craig Jessop has been asked to extend
an apology to 14-year-old student Gavin
McFarland of Hooper after the school official's
comments Wednesday.

Gavin says he wore the kilt twice in the past
two weeks to Rocky Mountain Junior High as
a prop for an art project...

jessop told the boy that the outfit could be
misconstrued as cross-dressing.

Taggart says the district recognizes the
kilt as an expression of the boy's Scottish
heritage and that the kilt was not inappropriate.

Kilts are traditional Scottish apparel generally
worn by men for formal or special occasions.

My kilt and high heels are a perfect match!.

This made me cry - how sad the world we live in when people have to rob to make ends meet. Kudos to the clerk I hope he is blessed ten-fold.

Clerk gives robber $40 from own pocket for insulin
Wed May 27, 8:17 pm ET

FORT SMITH, Ark. – A convenience store clerk wouldn't open the register for a robber but gave the man $40 from his own pocket after the robber told him he needed the money for insulin. Police were called Monday night to the E-Z Mart, where the clerk explained that a man he didn't know entered the store and lifted his shirt to display a pistol tucked in his waistband.

The clerk said the man told him, "I hate to do this," and told him he needed $40 from the register.

The clerk said money in the register wasn't his to give. It was then the robber said the money was for insulin. The robber accepted the money from the clerk's wallet, thanked him and shook his hand.

Police are searching for the robber.

Thank goodness we
have the (N. H. S.)
National health service.

I pay on average £78
per week off my earnings.

When it comes to people's
health and welfare it's worth
every penny...

for the care of the
less fortunate.