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 big fat and juciy/joke time!

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my little friend
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PostSubject: Re: big fat and juciy/joke time!   Thu 16 Oct 2008, 9:46 pm

Subject: Re: big fat and juciy/joke time! Today at 10:08

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A miserably married guy decides he needs some companionship, so he goes to a pet store. The salesman says, " I have a great pet for you. A toothless hamster". The guy says, " Nah." The salesman says, " But it gives great head." The guy takes it home. His wife screams, " What the hell is that thing?" He says, "Never mind what it is. Teach it to cook and then get the f*** out."

oh man just read it,holy shit too fucking funny ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL
yeeeeehaaaaaaaaa lol!
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PostSubject: big fat and juicy /joke time   Fri 17 Oct 2008, 10:53 am

Three men were standing in line to get into Heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so Malach Gavriel (Angel Gabriel) had to tell the first one, "Heaven's getting pretty close to full today, and I've been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible deaths. So what's your story?"

So the first man replies, "Well, for awhile I've suspected my wife has been cheating on me, so today I came home early and tried to catch her red-handed. As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I could tell something was wrong, but all my searching around didn't reveal where this other guy could have been hiding. Finally, I went out to the balcony, and sure enough, there was this man hanging off the railing, 25 floors above ground! By now I was really mad, so I started beating on him and kicking him, but wouldn't you know it, he wouldn't fall off. So finally I went back into my apartment and got a hammer and starting hammering on his fingers. Of course, he couldn't stand that for long, so he let go and fell -- but even after 25 stories, he fell into the bushes, stunned but okay. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I ran into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge and threw it over the edge where it landed on him, killing him instantly. But all the stress and anger got to me, and I had a heart attack and died there on the balcony."

"That sounds like a pretty bad day to me," said Malach Gavriel, and let the man in.

The second man comes up and Malach Gavriel explains to him about Heaven being full, and again asks for his story. "It's been a very strange day. You see, I live on the 26th floor of my apartment building, and every morning I do my exercises out on my balcony. Well, this morning I must have slipped or something, because I fell over the edge. But I got lucky, and caught the railing of the balcony on the floor below me. I knew I couldn't hang on for very long, when suddenly this man burst out onto the balcony. I thought for sure I was saved, when he started beating on me and kicking me. I held on the best I could until he ran into the apartment and grabbed a hammer and started pounding on my hands. Finally I just let go, but again I got lucky and fell into the bushes below, stunned but all right. Just when I was thinking I was going to be okay, this refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and crushes me instantly, and now I'm here."

Once again, Malach Gavriel had to concede that that sounded like a pretty horrible death.

The third man came to the front of the line, and again the whole process was repeated. Malach Gavriel explained that Heaven was full and asked for his story. "Picture this," says the third man, "I'm hiding naked inside a refrigerator..."
shock
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PostSubject: big fat and juicy /joke time   Fri 17 Oct 2008, 11:25 am

An American, traveling on a train in Europe, met a Cuban tobacco grower, a Russian vodka distiller and a lawyer. While they were talking business, the Cuban took out four cigars and passed them around. After lighting his own cigar, the Cuban took one drag and then threw it out the window, explaining that cigars were of no consequence in his country since there was such an abundance of them. After dinner, the Russian passed out bottles of vodka. After taking just one swig, he threw the bottle out the window, explaining that vodka was of no consequence since, in Russia, it was so plentiful. The American businessman sat in quiet contemplation for several minutes then arose and threw the lawyer out the window.

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PostSubject: Re: big fat and juciy/joke time!   Fri 17 Oct 2008, 2:11 pm



Last edited by One Armed Ninja on Tue 21 Oct 2008, 6:39 pm; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: big fat and juciy/joke time!   Fri 17 Oct 2008, 2:40 pm

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